Moments. Memories. Music. Why Emotional Investment is Everything

From the album Holiday Harmonies by Landlord Records with special thanks to Taylored Weddings.

What turns a moment into a memory? How is it that a simple sound or a smell can suddenly transport us to a different time and place? What do you want to feel in the future?

As people, we move through life making decisions and creating traditions without recognizing the impact that they may have on our future. Something as simple as picking out your perfume for the day, or your Friday night pizza delivery habit, can trigger memories and bring up feelings years from now.

My father always said, “No matter what, Keep Christmas. I want to know my family is always together.”

In 2005 my father was moved into a facility, and the years that passed were always mixed with so many emotions. Grateful that he was alive and in our lives, but missing him in the everyday way that we all take for granted. The holidays, his favorite time of the year, were always especially difficult. He loved Christmas, and he and my mother always made sure that we kept very specific traditions. Every year, as we began to put up the tree, my father would put on an old vinyl record of holiday classics sung by doo-wop groups. Nick Santamaria of the Capri’s was one of my father’s favorite singers and a close personal friend of the family. We always started with his version of “Oh, Holy Night”. It was deep and moving, and we listened to it over and over again. After the tree was put up, we would watch the original Christmas Carol and eat popcorn. Throughout the holiday season, “Oh, Holy Night” was played over and over again. Christmas Eve. Christmas Day. Random days in between. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it became the soundtrack of my childhood holidays and the grounding sound that brought me back to my center.

When my father was moved, his record collection was scattered and we had no idea where this album was. I have spent years looking for it, and when he died I thought that it would be lost to me forever.

It’s just a song, but over this last year, it became an obsession. I searched online, in stores, everywhere, and anywhere. My father’s passing bled into Covid, and in a time when we have all lost so much, I became desperate for this sound. I just wanted to feel something normal. I wanted something that felt like home in my new home.

After being involved with The DJ Collective for the last several years, it never occurred to me to ask this community for help in tracking down this song. Suddenly, in the middle of the night, I was inspired to reach out through the Facebook group, and within hours DJ Mitch Taylor of Taylored Weddings located the album for me. Within days I had it in my hand, and when I played it in my kitchen for the first time, I cried. The next day on Christmas Eve we kept the tradition, as we always had, and for the first time in a long time, I was 8 years old again and I had my father back for those 3 minutes. This is how we share our lives and connect one generation to the next. Because of things like this, the idea of my father will never really die.

What does that have to do with weddings? Everything.

When my father put on that record, he didn’t know that it would become a link to my childhood and my past. He had no idea that it would be sound that transported me to another place and time.

I am a sensory planner and have always designed with the idea that when you entice the five senses and deliver them elegantly with a stealth-like service, you can turn a moment into a memory. We make decisions every day - big, small, inconsequential, and deeply meaningful. I just spend 10 minutes talking about a doo-wop song from 40 years ago. Can you imagine the impact of your wedding music? What decisions are you about to make about your wedding that will bring you back to this time 10, 20, 40 years from now?

I became a wedding planner because I understand the value of a moment. I understand the transformative value of a memory, and I know that it means more in the future than it does as it's happening. I know that bad things happen in everyone’s lives. When they do, we need things to look forward to and things to look back on. My experience with this song perfectly illustrates this and is exactly why I do what I do. I exist to create these moments that turn into memories in the hopes that years from now when all else has been lost, a song or a smell will bring you back to the now. My job is to create memories that you tell your children about so that you can connect one generation to the next.

Everything about my life, personally and professionally, is about living in a way that makes the world a more beautiful place for my clients, for their guests, and for people who really care. I want to create a thread that pulls through the story of your life so that when you look back, you smile. I want you to have things to look forward to and to look back on.

Now and always, with love. Always…a

I would love to hear about your traditions and memories below.

And a BIG thank you to my friends: DJ Brian B, Jason Jani, and Joe Bun for creating the DJ Collective!